The starting point is much more basic and personal. For many airmen, it is the health of their marriage … and, frankly, the latest figures show the Air Force is not doing very well.
In data just released by the Defense Department, the divorce rate across all service branches is the highest it’s been since 1999 with the Air Force showing the greatest increase. Ten years ago, as the war on terror was beginning, airmen experienced 2.5 divorces per 100 marriages. By the end of fiscal year 2011, the rate was 3.9.
Divorce among enlisted airmen was even greater at 4.6 with women having the highest rate for both officers and enlisted.
Although the specifics for Robins Air Force Base are not available, Chaplain (Capt.) Lane Campbell knows the local installation is no exception. That’s why he has placed much of his focus on a program called Marriage Care.
The program, developed by the Chaplain Corps College, offers weekend retreats to married couples hoping to put new life and vigor into their relationship.
“It is not designed to save a marriage,” Campbell quickly points out, “but to focus and help couples strengthen their marriage.”
Twenty-six couples attended the last session in November. Another retreat is scheduled for March.
The agenda includes ice breakers, group and couple activities, games, handouts and videos. But the focus is on the traditional vows that most couples recite on their wedding day.
“They’re simple but sacred words,” the chaplain noted. “We talk about what their wedding day was like. Some things were funny. Some were serious. Some challenging. Some were good memories while others were not. But we all took vows.”
The program begins with “I take thee.” What does that mean? Does it include the extended family? Children from a previous marriage? Or did they mean only part of them?
“Every bit of a person is included when you said that,” Campbell believes.
The session continues with “to have and to hold” and “for better and for worse.”
“We try to get some tools in their marriage tool box,” the Colorado native said. “We focus on communications and what it means to communicate effectively. How to know your spouse’s love language. We try to empower them to be the couples God wants them to be.”
Campbell was a Seventh Day Adventist pastor and university teacher for more than 18 years before joining the Air Force some three years ago. Feedback from the Marriage Care sessions tell him they work.
“Before our last retreat, we asked the couples to rate their marriage on a scale of 1 to ten,” he indicated. “The men had it at 7 and the women 7.5. After the retreat, both the men and women jumped to 9.”
Continuing the weekend sessions will take money. So far, chapel offerings and tithes have covered the bill, but other base resources will be needed.
“I believe the program strengthens marriages and keeps them intact,” Campbell said. “I have words from people who say they were ready to leave but now they’re committed to changing some things.”
He hopes senior leaders will attend one of the sessions and experience first hand the impacts the retreat can have. He stressed that stable, functioning marriages are critical for overall readiness.
“Commanders should consider the value of sponsoring and hosting these retreats,” Campbell said, “especially since the Air Force divorce rate is the highest in the Defense Department.”
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